Stories on our skins.

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.

2012-02-06T15:30:00.000+08:00

Of all the days I had to miss to update my blog it had to be on my birthday. I was dead tired and sleepy by 7:30pm that I feel asleep the moment my head touched my pillow. Anyway, yesterday I turned 20. :') No more "teen" on my age. Oh man. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful set of friends and blockmates. I started my day yesterday by running for Philhealth's marathon at 5am something. I was so disappointed with my time because I was expecting it'd be better than my Metrobank time (I placed 8th in the top 10). My time for the Metrobank Fun Run 5k was 30 minutes. But yesterday my time increased by 10 minutes. I was so heartbroken. But I shall do my best this Sunday February 12 for the Run For Love marathon.

Anyway highway, we had a little party at our house. Some of my blockmates went and my barkada. I had tons of fun and I even received a lot of gifts. :) So happy I could die (not really :P).

I so love my birthday cake which my mom made for me!! It's an Orang Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting. :) It's really yummy. My mom is the best!! Thank you Mommy!! <3 Thank you for everything Lord!

I'll do another entry soon enough. I am losing my mind right now because still need to do a gazillion things. :'(

Your first move might be your last.

2012-02-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

I have this deep infatuation with skulls.
My favorite holidays are Christmas and Halloween.
I made two extra piercings on my left ear when I was in highschool. I used an ice cube to numb my ear and a needle to make a piercing.
I have a ton of striped tops.
I'd rather stay at home and chill than go out on a Friday or Saturday night.. or whenever it's "fly day".
I have never, ever been inside a bar or disco place.
I eat a little for breakfast, eat like a sumo wrestler for lunch, and sometimes skip dinner. I tend to get way too full over merienda.
I will forever have a sweet tooth.
I have a pear-shaped body.
I write in my diary/journal to stay sane.

Have faith in me.

2012-02-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

Today has been such a humbling learning experience. I learned a lot of things today because of some events which I am too tired to write about as of the moment. Anyway, I passed my Genetics midterm exam but my grade wasn't that high because I lost a ton of points because I had a lot of erasures. So sad. I also stayed in the library with my blockmates and slept my head off. It was my first time to sleep in the library too.

I was thisclose to cutting my last two classes for the day which were English Literature and Political Science. Good thing my friends forced me not to cut. Such good people. God bless them. :)

Oh! A few more days and it's my birthday. God. I can't believe I'm finally turning twenty. I've finally hit the 20th mark of my existence in one piece. ;) Thank you Lord. <3

Will def post more decent entries soon!!! :)

I stop, you go.

2012-02-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

First off, my partner and I were very productive during our Developmental Biology Lab this afternoon. I was able to finish taking pictures of all the slides. Buried my face in slides of chick embryos. My eyes hurt so much afterwards.

This day has been filled with a lot of "hoity toity" moments. <3 God always manages to surprise me with such amazing things.

But I don't like the part when my Dev Bio teacher returned our midterm exam results. I was so disappointed because I was sort of expecting a high grade. I love Dev Bio so much but it doesn't love me back. :'( Another thing that made my chest hurt so bad was my Med Ethics midterm exam results.

Anyway, life goes on.. I need to do better next time!!!

You make me feel so.

2012-02-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Hello!! I am still alive, btw. Anyway highway, I have been going through a loooot of stuff right now. I have so many thoughts all at the same time that I feel like my head's about to explode any minute now. But I have promised myself that since February is my birth month, I will try to update my blog everyday for the whole month. I tried doing this before last December 2011 but I have failed miserably. So, I shall start anew with this crappy post to start my month right. Oh, sarcasm you sneaky little monster you. :)

You're feeling cornered.

2012-01-22T10:33:00.001+08:00

I sat on the camel colored dentist chair as the dentist's assistant ushered me to sit comfortably. My mind was racing and my palms started to get all sweaty. The last time I sat on one of these things was when I had my braces taken off which was one year and nine months ago.

I had my bad tooth (the one that broke off when I ate smores) pulled out. Every time the dentist worked on my mouth using unknown metal equipment, I can't help but repeat "Jesus Christ, tabang (help)! Lord God! Oh my God!" a gazillion times inside my head. I was practically screaming inside my head. I was terrified that it might hurt so much. When he injected my gums with some anesthesia, it only stung a little bit (it was nothing compared to what I experienced before with my jacked up toe).

When the dentist was pulling my tooth out, it felt like my entire jaw was coming off with it. I swear to God. But it didn't hurt at all. I could hear my tooth break into pieces. I think it's how bones might sound when it breaks or gets crushed. I had some vanilla ice cream afterwards but I still kept on tasting the blood. I bled on my vanilla ice cream the whole entire time. It took me hours before I could finally move the right side of my lips and feel my right cheek. I am still in the process of getting my teeth fixed. :O

Flat on my face.

2012-01-17T21:56:00.001+08:00

My day is so off today. I guess I'm having my Friday the 13th today.
I am very particular when it comes to smell. Bad odor drives me insane.
I change my cologne from time to time. I keep a decent stash of cologne to choose from.
My "signature scent" is Zen Zest's Cucumber Melon. But I mostly prefer fruity and clean, soapy, natural scents.
I have a ginormous shoe size. It's really difficult to look for a pretty pair of shoes that will fit me well.
Out of my three Chemistry subjects (Inorganic Chem, Organic Chem, and Biochemistry), Biochemistry is my fave.
I've been sick as a dog because of the stupid, fickle weather.
I've been thinking of deleting my Twitter.
I am lactose intolerant (my tummy can't digest lactose, which is the sugar found in milk).
Green Tea will always, always be my favorite tea forever.

Life's drifting away day by day.

2012-01-15T20:49:00.001+08:00

I have really weird taste in books. I easily get smitten by books on death, suicide.. morbid stuff.
I don't know how to save money. Impulsive buying crushes my dreams every single time.
I suck at Math.
My favorite fruits are banana, apple, watermelon, jackfruit (langka) and mango.
I have really bad posture. But I am trying to work on it.
I have never ever been to a bar or disco place thingy.
I have a new Tumblr account which is more personal.. http://triciaishappy.tumblr.com/
I can easily fix my body clock whenever it gets effed up.
I can play takyan quite well. I wouldn't mind playing with guys. I won't feel intimidated at all.
I really, really need to get started on my Philo reading assignemnt on Plato's Euthyphro.

You know that it's sad but true.

2012-01-10T16:50:00.002+08:00

I am such a sucker for cartoons. I think I'll never outgrow this obsession of mine.
I am a frustrated painter. These past days during the Christmas break, I kept on practicing painting with watercolor.
I have this fetish for notebooks, highlighters, and colored markers. I keep on hoarding these every time I go to a bookstore.
My favorite tv channels are Cartoon Network, MTV, ETC, Disney Channel, Jack TV, Nickelodeon, and Boomerang.
I keep a diary or journal. I've been keeping a journal or diary since I was in gradeschool.
My molar broke the other day right after I took a huge bite of the Smores I made for dessert and I am freaking out.
I badly want to buy a ton of new books to read over summer. But I am broke as a joke.
I don't know how to save money. Broke foh life!!!
I hate cats.
I don't know how to swim. : |

What the lump.

2012-01-06T07:47:00.000+08:00

I'm always off to the Land of Ooo these past few days. I'm already done with the first season of the awesomest cartoon series ever.. Adventure Time! I was first able to watch this series a long, long time ago in Cartoon Network. I am such a huuuge fan of cartoons I tell ya. So, as "homage" to the awesome series, I drew some of the characters.

Marceline the Vampire Queen (waterclor, G-tech, colored markers, colored pencils)

Peppermint Butler (colored markers, G-tech)

Jake the Dog (watercolor, black marker)

Lumpy Space Princess or LSP (colored pencils, black marker) is my most favorite character. She is cray-cray and hilarious. She's also lumping awesome. Word. :)

I am planning to draw most of the Adventure Time characters.. I really can't say all because there's just insanely a lot of them. I highly recommend this cartoon series. It's highly addictive. It's not your average run of the mill cartoons. You have to watch this for you to totally know why. ;)

I've been holding my breath for you.

2012-01-01T11:19:00.001+08:00

Another year is about to end and here, my dear friends is another obligatory year end post. Looking back, I can say 2011 has been beyond awesome. I had an amazing time. I guess I somehow managed to let loose. 2011 has been a wicked, wicked year. I was able to tick off a lot of things from my (nonexistent, but for blogging purposes) Bucket List.

The first ever concert that I have watched of a foreign artist was JBieb's. It was truly an awesome experience. It was kinda bittersweet but yeah, it was very memorable. ;) My summer 2011 has been wonderful.

Nothing could ever, ever top this experience. I sneaked off to Manila with Mariel and Framces to watch All Time Low's concert. I even got to meet my boys, especially the love of my life, Alex Gaskarth. It was such a huge risk that I took since it was on a school day, but whatever. I made a promise to myself that I'll watch ATL if ever they're gonna have a show in the Philippines.

I was able to win a marathon. Even though I didn't finish first, I made it to the top ten finishers!!! :) My name even got published in the local paper. So proud of myself. :)

Finally, I won (although it was a team effort, it still counts) the event I participated in during our Intramurals. :) It was also my second time in joining the Intrams.

I was able to bond with my family. It's not the first time but we rarely get to do this since most of the time my dad is away because of work. Yehey! My family is complete. :)

2011 was the first time I went on a trip alone in an unfamiliar place. Thank God I have a good sense of direction. ;)

I still have me girls with me. <3 Though we didn't get to hang out as often as possible during school days, but I'm still thankful that I'd get to see them in school.

These are just some of the things that I could share to you since I'm running low on creativity and wit as of the moment because I believe lack of sleep due to playing Tetris Battle has sucked my brain dry. 2011 has been a wonderful year for me. So, I am challenging 2012 to be even better. Cheers to an awesome year ahead!! Leggo 2012!!! :)

You ask why I'm so blue.

2011-12-30T14:23:00.002+08:00

Hi. I suddenly feel like making a list right now. So, I was able to watch 3/4 of an episode of both Modern Family and The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I have been dreaming of watching these series since forever. I'm not really a huge fan of watching series religiously but I love watching them from time to time though. Here are a couple of awesome series that I simply love (not that anyone would care but this is my blog so whatever).

1. Pushing Daisies
2. Skins
3. Adventure Time
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. Big Time Rush
6. Victorious
7. Hannah Montana
8. The Secret Life of the American Teenager
9. Modern Family
10. The Big Bang Theory
11. Wizards of Waverly Place
12. True Jackson, VP
13. iCarly
14. Family Guy
15. American Dad
16. The Suite Life on Deck
17. The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
18. Jonas
19. Good Luck, Charlie!
20. Sonny With a Chance

I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog but I'll ask anyway.. Can anyone suggest some really great series? Any genre would do. :) I seriously need to get a life.

Mile high Christmas.

2011-12-26T12:21:00.000+08:00

Last Christmas Eve, we had a really simple celebration. We didn't prepare a lot of food and stuff which what normally most Filipino families would do for a sumptuous Christmas dinner. I simply went loco over the Red Velvet cake and cupcakes my mom and I prepared. I was her assistant the whole entire time she was baking. I didn't really mind helping her out in baking since it's way waaaaay better than asking me to help in cooking meals. I'm not really a huge fan of cooking, sadly.

The Red Velvet cake my mom and I made. I think I kinda went overboard with the toppings...

The poorly frosted Red Velvet cupcakes made by yours truly.. Haha

I have been stuffing myself with Red Velvet cake and cupcakes for three days in a row. I regret nothing. I'll definitely get back in shape after the holidays. I'm getting a Red Velvet belly from all this binge eating. Hope everyone had a greaaaat Christmas!!!

Ho ho hopefully.

2011-12-24T19:12:00.000+08:00

Hello. It's gonna be Christmas Eve in less than five hours. To tell you the truth, I am not getting that warm, fuzzy Christmas feeling inside of me. I guess it's because of the recent typhoon and mini anxiety attacks I get from thinking about all the homework I need to make over Christmas break. All these things are messing with my head and feelings.

But I know it's not supposed to be this way but I really can't help it. Anyway, now isn't the time to be a Scrooge or Grinch. I hope and pray that things will get better soon enough. Have a Happy Christmas everyone!!!

You're crashing but you're no wave.

2011-12-21T07:17:00.002+08:00

It's been almost six days since Sendong hit my beloved city. I know that in my part of town, we haven't been hit by the typhoon. But a lot of my friends were gravely affected. I'd want to be there for all of them but I can't. If only I can clone myself into a hundred copies, I'd be there for most of them and help. I was able to donate a lot of my old clothes and helped my course's org in buying relief goods which we eventually donated. We also went to two friends' houses to bring some clothes. I feel like I'm not doing a lot. I wasn't even there for my close friends who got hit by the flood. I feel so helpless. I really, reaaaaally want to help. God knows how much I want to do a lot of things for all these flood/typhoon victims.

I feel like I am so limited in my actions because of previous things that has happened before Sendong came. I went as far as retweeting and reblogging stuff to help raise awareness in the cyberworld.. but it feels like, it's never gonna be enough. It's really difficult for me to explain here why I'm so restrained in my actions.. but I hope that God will make things better eventually in our home. My life is still a mess here and I'm also having a hard time fixing and helping other people with their mess.

I am dreading school next month but life goes on. Even though we want to stay stuck in this chaos, life will leave us because life will never wait for anybody. Eventually, we all NEED to move on. Eventually, we all need to get back to normal. Eventually, we all need to drag ourselves out of this misery. A lot of people feel so hopeless because they feel like they've lost everything, but life doesn't end there. It does NOT HAVE TO end there.

Saying, "I'm not feeling the spirit of Christmas." is a wrong notion. A loooot of people are very generous in shelling out money, time, and energy to help them. I feel like Sendong is a blessing in disguise. I know you may think I'm cray-cray, but if you think about it, if Sendong didn't happen, people would NEVER EVER think of others. Well, yeah.. Some would but the essence of giving wouldn't be there. People would be all warm and cozy in their houses with their presents and scrumptious foods not having a care in the world for other people who have nothing to eat or presents to open on Christmas. I know this post is so mediocre but I'm having a hard time arranging my thoughts because anxiety keeps on blocking things out. I'd love to rant some more but if I continue, it may all be gibberish. I know this post has been mighty long, but if you have managed to reach this part of my entry, you are a trooper. May God bless your little heart for caring.

Love, you take my breath away.

2011-12-15T04:43:00.000+08:00

Happy happy happy birthday Alexander William Gaskarth!!!

You will always, always have a special place in my heart. :') I hope I'll get to see you again soon. I wish you all the best on your very special day. I know it's already December 15 here on the east coast, but still!!! I want to greet you. :) I love you, babe.

Love yourself so no one has to.

2011-12-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

Daaaaaamn. I am just so stressed right now. This week is just so.. stressful. I need to do a million things before I can have my Christmas break. But I realized that I also need to do a couple more million things DURING Christmas break. I look so haggard, fat, and ugly. I can't take this madness!!!

But I need to stay optimistic. I can do this. :)

Going down.

2011-12-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

Lord, I am hopelessly hoping for the best. I feel so defeated right now but I can't give up. I've gone a long way already. Now isn't the time to give up. I feel like crying but I don't want to cry. There is still hope. Haaayyy.. the life of a Biology Major. :')

Dream of the endless possibilities.

2011-12-11T14:17:00.001+08:00

God definitely has a way of surprising us. God is just too awesome. Early this morning, I ran 5k in the 11th Metrobank Fun Run. I wasn't really thinking about winning or whatever since there is no way in the world that I'd ever finish early. See? I am such a pessimist. My sole goal (hey it rhymes!!!) during the race was to not pass out and maybe get a decent finishing time, too.

Surprise, surprise! I finished 8th in the race. Actually, I was supposed to finish earlier but my chest was burning so much that I was afraid that I might pass out. My finishing time was 30 minutes. Next race, I'll aim for a shorter finishing time.

They called the top ten finishers onstage for the awarding. It such an accomplishment since it was my first time to win in a marathon. I know I have been running since like forever.. okay, maybe not.. 7 or 8 years.. but I'm not really much of a marathon runner since I only play long jump and triple jump. I miss playing Track so soooo bad. :(

So much for nostalgia.. I am truly, deeply thankful to God for this. I would never, ever survive the race without Him. Thank you Lord!!! :) Until the next race! ;)

Lie awake.

2011-12-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

Today is truly exhausting. I arrived 30 minutes late for my Ecology class this morning. Suxxx. Another minus 10 on my attendance aka bonus points (or whatever).. How tragic. I immediately went home after and finished the lay-out for my cousin's birthday tarp. I then went back to school at around 2:30pm-ish and watched the boys' basketball game for Barkadahan.

I went to Ketkai to have the tarp printed. I had siomai and Naicha's Chocolate Milk Tea for dinner. I felt like such a loner in the mall while I was waiting for the tarp. I then went back to school to watch the play which our English Literature teacher "required" us to watch. It was actually my first time to watch a play in our school. The play was really nice and amusing though. Good job.

This post is truly mediocre. My thoughts are all over the place. Forgive me. I am just so stressed with my life. I still need to do a million things before our Christmas Break. I still need to wake up early tomorrow morning for Metrobank's Fun Run. Wish me luck!! :)

You had a piece of my heart.

2011-12-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

Dear Alex,

I'm still not over you. I can't believe it's been two months and how many days since the day I met you. Your absence has left a bruise on my heart. A bruise that never seems to heal in each passing day. The pain is truly unbearable. But I try to fight the urge of breaking down and falling apart every single day. I can never, ever watch the videos of that wonderful night without shedding a tear. I do hope that someday, our paths will cross again. I don't know how long that would be. Maybe by that time I'll know what to say to you. :'( I love you Alexander William Gaskarth!!!

I can't figure you out.

2011-12-08T18:47:00.000+08:00

Every time I look at you, my chest starts to hurt and I feel like I'm drowning. I'm drowning in my emotions. I'm having a hard time expressing all of these pent up emotions I have inside. I kept them sealed inside of me. I'm terrified that one day, I might start to leak and eventually spill my guts out into the cold air. I just can't take the thought of seeing myself die in my own misery because of you.

Clumsy, careless words.

2011-12-07T18:15:00.000+08:00

I am craving for Sbux's Green Tea Frappuccino.. mmmm Today has been such a stressful day. I had Ecology Lec at 7:30am and I arrived almost late. We had a group quiz (as usual).. we barely passed. I wasn't able to study because I got knocked out because I still lack sleep because of our Genetics Lab Report. Then I had Ecology Lab by 9am. We finished at around 12nn. Right after we ate lunch, we immediately locked ourselves in one of the rooms in the library just to finish our Genetics Lab Report. Thank God our teacher moved the deadline to Wednesday (today) at 5pm. Jeez. That was the longest lab report I have ever made so far. My lab report contained about 13 or 14 pages (???) I think. Thank you Lord that I was able to finish it on time.

I dropped my mom at my aunt's house and I drove alone the rest of the way home. I'm just really frustrated right now because I don't know how to park the car and I'm staring at it right now and it's tilted (gawsh, I can't seem to find the right adjective). There isn't enough space left to pass through to get to the door. I am such a noob. So, anyway, I still need to study for tomorrow's subjects. Meh.

The quiet never lasts.

2011-12-06T20:04:00.002+08:00

Hi. I'm totally running out of decent pictures to post here. So instead, I'm using this old picture of me. Anyway, I am so damn tired and sleepy. I cut class. I didn't show up for my Pol Sci class.. (badass, NOT) I didn't get that much sleep because I was trying to finish working on my lab report for Genetics. Damnit. Here I go again, procrastinating like I have all the time in the world. This is the most difficult habit to break.

Bittersweet news!! My teacher returned our first and second lab reports.. I'm not satisfied with the B- and C. This cannot be!! I will work harder on my future lab reports. :)

I'm smiling at everything.

2011-12-05T19:39:00.001+08:00

I always feel like I fall short in everything. I always seem to be never enough for anything. I guess I feel like I'm putting way too much pressure on myself to be perfect. I know it's a wrong notion but I always seem to put it on a pedestal. Whenever I make a mistake, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem, I can never forgive myself. Maybe I could but it would take me a really long time. I just can't accept the fact that I make mistakes. It may seem like I have gotten over an incident, but inside my mind, the scene keeps on playing inside my head. I keep on dissecting the whole scenario. I always try to come up with a gazillion "What ifs". I really hate it when I overanalyze things and get paranoid in the end. It's killing me.

How do I get away?

2011-12-04T13:28:00.001+08:00

Whenever I run out of things to blog about here, I resort to talking about food and beverages. There's this new place where you could get super yummy milk tea (it's the latest fad, froyo is so last year :P) it's called Naicha. It's located in Big R near Skin R' Us.

The first time I went there, I was with my mom.

She had their Caramel Milk Tea which was simply lush.

I, on the other hand got their Japanese Green Milk Tea. It tasted like seaweed. But it's okay.

Milk Tea is simply divine I tell you. They have a super wide range of tea to choose from. I am planning to try all of them. So far, I tried their Caramel Milk Tea, Japanese Green Milk Tea and their Black Milk Tea with Chinese Grass Black Jelly. I'm not sure with the name of the jelly though.. I think I'm making stuff up.. but whatever. :) This place is a really, really awesome place to get your fix of milk tea.

You're the lowest type.

2011-12-03T10:15:00.000+08:00

I feel like I am such a horrible, horrible person. I can't believe I sold my homies out again. What the hell is wrong with me. It feels like I'm always trying to be someone I'm not. I really, really hate myself so much lately. I am doing my best to be a better person but I am nowhere near a quarter to that goal. I feel like I am being a total bitch. I despise myself. I really need to pull my act together. I don't want my 2011 to end unpleasantly. I don't think I'll ever find the heart to forgive myself for doing this. It hurts so much because I have managed to hurt the people dear to me because of my foot in mouth disease.

Just try a little harder.

2011-12-02T10:08:00.001+08:00

I will try to update my blog everyday for the whole month of December. I have decided to do this because it's the last month of my super awesome 2011. :)

Dessert Strip has just recently opened a stall in Big R. I completely spazzed in front of their stall when I saw that they were selling Red Velvet Cakes.

The Red Velvet Cake. This tastes so much better when it's refrigerated. :) I can't really say I went gaga over this but it's okay. I give it 3 and 1/2 stars for the taste. Not bad, not bad.

We also bought their Chocolate Cake for my little sister. I wasn't able to taste this but I bet it's as good as it looks. Mmmm

Since it was their opening, we got to score some free pasta. This is yummy pasta. I'm not sure what you call this dish. I am so bad with names. But it had tuna on the sauce. :)

We also got this free pack of cookies. I can't remember what kind these were. I think they're Oatmeal cookies?? Anyhow, they taste really good with a glass of cold milk. Yum!! They have a wide range of yummy desserts. Will def go back to try the rest of their products.

As you may have noticed (or not), I have been posting a lot about food. I am in no way trying to be a foodie. I swear. I would just want to deviate a little from my usual heart-on-my-sleeve kind of posts which are a total heartache. But I think I might get back to those kind of posts soon. Lately, I haven't been really good at expressing my thoughts and feelings as before. Well, oh well. :)

You like me just the way I'm not.

2011-12-01T17:12:00.002+08:00

I'll never be what you want. I wouldn't change any part of me just to make you stay. You had a piece of my heart but not enough to just run away...

And I can't say anything, everything comes out the wrong way...

And the look in your eyes says things I don't wanna know...

--Never Be What You Want by We Are The In Crowd

Now there's a piece of me that tells me I shouldn't leave every time I see your face because every time you come around Love, you take my breath away...

But the truth is, she has no idea that I'm even here...

You're so close when I'm so far away...

--No Idea by All Time Low

How do I get away when you're begging me to stay? What do you need me to say? You're anything but ordinary. What do you want me to do? I've given it all to you. I wish you would return the favor...

Whether you and me could ever be, we'll never see, no. 'Cause you keep the lights off, you only do it in the dark...

Are you gonna throw it all away? Are we gonna do this again? Maybe it's all pretend and the games should end, I guess nobody wins...

--Return The Favor by All Time Low

Cause a scene like you're supposed to.

2011-11-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hello!! My weekend has been quite eventful. Thank the Lord. I ran the Unilab Marathon this morning. But daaaamn, I arrived super late. The race has already begun. I had to sneak my way into the crowd of runners by the turning point just to keep up with the race. I managed to finish the race in 34 minutes. I need to beat that time on my next marathon. But the thing is, I didn't exactly run the whole 5k because I sneaked into the race but whatever.

The ONLY decent picture I ever had. I don't really take pictures during marathons and games but lately, I'm trying to change that. ;) I'm such a fatass. Uggh. I ran the race without even warming up. Next time, I'll never ever ever be late for a marathon. This has been the second time that I arrived late for a marathon. The first one was during the Adidas King of the Road Marathon back in 2008? Not sure. Forgive me.

I had a huge breakfast after the race because I wasn't able to eat anything because I was running really late. I had Missy Bonbon's tapsilog. It was kinda okay. 3 and 1/2 stars for this meal. :) I then had some of their Green Tea flavored gelato and it was simply divine. *u*

I'd like to make a shoutout of how much I loved Missy Bonbon's juice. It's a mixture of mango, orange, and strawberry.. very, very yummy. :) For all you know, I am such a huge, huuuge fan of juice. So when I tasted this, I spazzed.

Right now, my whole body hurts. I need to get back in shape for the next marathon this December 11, 2011. Metrobank will be the major sponsor of this event. I can't wait!! Thank you Lord. :)

I'm wasted wasting time.

2011-11-19T10:33:00.000+08:00

My tummy is so random. Can you believe that I am suddenly craving for Bigby's Strawberry Shortcake? Damn. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

I am such a huge, huuuge fan of desserts. I always make room for dessert after every meal. I guess you could also say I have a sweet tooth.

This particular cake is extremely divine. I don't know with you but I fell in love with this cake the moment I took my first bite. I could be a little biased here because I just love love love strawberry based desserts which is why this dessert owns. Anyhow, it's a really simple dessert composed of shortcake (kinda too dry for me but it's supposed to have this feel, so whatever), strawberries (love these babies), cream, drizzle of strawberry syrup, and vanilla ice cream. It really isn't a complicated cake but it tastes lovely.

I'm a bit too pale to run that scene.

2011-11-18T23:40:00.001+08:00

I feel so stressed right now and I am trying to distract myself by doing other stuff. Unnecessary stuff. This is not good. I have a gazillion chapters to read for my four Bio majors. I wanna cry. I still have a lot of other pending stuffs I need to accomplish. I need to make 2 lab reports. One for Genetics and one for Ecology. I hate myself so much right now for slacking so early this sem.

This is my favorite drawing out of the three. This is a diagram of a typical bacterial cell I made for my Genetics lab report.

The diagram of an animal cell was such a bitch. I had a hard time making this one. Ughh. I forgot to take a picture of the colored version aka finished drawing. Lol

A diagram of a plant cell. I enjoyed making this one. Again, forgot to take a picture of the finished drawing. Suxx

I can't help but think about All Time Low when I stumbled on this article featured in an old ish of Reader's Digest. :)

My prized possession. This keeps me going after 09/22/11 happened. I still can't believe I met these guys. In the flesh. Thank you Lord <3

I seriously need to get a better phone. The quality of these pictures are hella crappy.. but whatever. It doesn't really matter that much. I had so much fun today with Ate Kristy since she came home from Singapore. I missed this girl. :) Thanks for the treat, love. I can't wait for summer 2012!!! ;)

Last night, I saw my world explode.

2011-11-13T12:00:00.003+08:00

I honestly lost my cool last night and I regret every bit of it right now. Last night was the first day of the month long celebration of the ArtScies Festival in my school. We had our first game yesterday against the International Studies in basketball. I felt so pressured because there were only five of us girls since the others were kinda busy and all that shizz. I panicked at the thought that we'll be playing all 3 quarters without any subs. The girls from the other team were really nice and that made me relax a bit. They were really friendly and so chill about the whole entire thing. We felt really small and inadequate last night because for one, the IS team were so prepared, I mean, there were like 20 or more of them there. But yeah, they were still really nice to us.

It started out really funny and we were all laughing and enjoying every moment we had on the court. But as the game progressed, things were starting to get out of hand. The game started to get a little rowdier than the agreed "friendly game". If I remember correctly, my face was pushed outta the way in the process of stealing the ball from the other team. I stepped my game a little since I felt a little threatened. But then things got worse. I'm not sure how everything happened because it was such a blur.. the next thing I knew as I made a run for the ball, I saw myself slowly falling on the floor. I literally dived two times in a row for the goddamn ball. My teammates pulled me up because they thought I was seriously hurt. But the only pain I felt was from the bruise on my pride.

Things started to get heated because of the referee and all that shizz. It started getting really tense in the court and pressure was building up between both teams because we both stepped up our game. I kept praying to God that I'll hold on a little longer because I was out of breath already. Good thing that halfway through the 2nd quarter some of the second year Bio students arrived and we were able to let them in the game while some of us rested. In the end, we won by a measly 2 point lead. Hahaha 12-10. I managed to score 8 points that night. Chyeaah. No big deal. ;) Cockiness aside, I thank God so much for the win.

But things got messy afterwards because the IS team wanted a rematch and I am so sorry with all my heart but I couldn't agree for a rematch because we worked so hard for that and there was already a verbal agreement between both teams at the start of the game with the rules of the game even though they tweaked the rules a bit halfway through the game. I was so angry to be honest last night. I know it's wrong for me to feel that way but I got my ass kicked so much by the IS team. They were really good!! We even had a hard time defending our lead. It was all just a big misunderstanding and I don't really want to dwell so much on that because the girls from the other team were really nice and they approached us and told us they weren't angry at us but with the referees and how the game was facilitated. So I guess, all is well. Thank you so much Lord for last night even though it was such a bittersweet victory. :)

There's the door baby.

2011-11-07T08:32:00.001+08:00

I really love it when I get to spend an entire day with my mom bumming around the city. She spoils me too much I tell ya. :)

One time my mom and I went to Gazebo and ate there. I was killing time before my driving class and I still have not eaten my lunch. It was the closest place we could go to grab some food.

I had their Ham and Egg Sandwich because I'm boring.. and dead hungry. *u*

My mom and I also ordered froyo. She had the plain one and I got mine with crushed biscotti. I'm not sure actually because I have poor memory. suxxx but whatevs.

We also tried their Belgian Waffles. It was really yummy. It had chocolate syrup, powdered sugar, mangoes and a mound of froyo. :)

Thank you Mommy! :) Until our next date. This is way, waaaaayyy better than having a boyfriend. Actually, I wouldn't really know how it feels like to have a boyfriend so I can't really compare but let's leave it that way anyway for the sake of a good ending to this post, eh?

Jealous minds think alike.

2011-10-31T09:56:00.002+08:00

The second semester will start in a few days. Yet here I am, unprepared for what's to come. My room is still a mess and my sanity is still nowhere to be found. I feel so sad because I have wasted a whole semester being an unproductive, lazy asshole. My grades are so low and I couldn't take it. I am not sure what to do anymore because I know how much of a liar I am. I can't keep my promises. It's the same thing which happens to me most of the time.

I start out really eager and inspired but as the semester progresses, I slowly start to lose heart and eventually, wither away into the abyss. I don't want this to happen anymore. I'm tired of this classic case of laziness. I do hope and pray that I stay inspired and motivated, that way I'll have better grades.

Anyway, my sem break was kinda productive. Yey for me! I have managed to kick the mouse out of my chest and finally took driving lessons. I am so proud of myself. Learning how to drive is part of my goals before I reach the age of twenty. I'm so happy, I could cry diamond tears.

So, here's to the second semester. Come what may. I'll be welcoming this sem with an open heart and an open mind. I'll survive this sem. Whatever happens, happen. So help me God. :)

Everything's fine.

2011-10-24T19:27:00.001+08:00

Hey. So I was able to finish enrolling myself today. I have four majors up for me this second semester. I have Developmental Biology Lec and Lab, Cell Biology, Ecology Lec and Lab, and Genetics Lec and Lab. Well, oh well. Btw, my grades sucked big time. They weren't as high as what I had hoped them to be. There isn't anyone else to blame but me. Like, duh. But I still thank God for passing grades. Well, you gotta do best with what you have. I didn't even study well and this is what I get. Lesson learned! (I hope)

I do hope I stay inspired in school. I need to make up for last sem's flops. Ugh. The hell of it all. I have been wasting my time building castles in the air. As much as I would want to rant there really isn't anything I could do much but do way, waaaayy better this second sem.

I can totally foresee that I will be a friendless loser every Political Science period. I took this subject in advance because I have finished Philippine History eons ago, which is one of the required subjects to be taken up for this sem. Anyhow, have a bowl of ramen instead to cheer up this bleak day.

Couldn't you be any more obvious?

2011-10-20T13:44:00.001+08:00

Hi. My sem break is almost over and I haven't done anything productive. UGH. I hate hate hate myself right now. Anyhoo, I'd like to make a short list of the things I need to do before school starts.

1. I NEED to clean my room. Like seriously. It's complete and utter mayhem inside.
2. PULL MY SHIT TOGETHER.

------UGH. Making a list is very tedious. I can't think of anything right now. x_____x But cleaning my room is my topmost priority definitely. Don't mind me, I'm just trying to keep my sanity intact.

We break apart the moment we feel too much.

2011-10-18T20:03:00.001+08:00

I know I'm gonna sound selfish for saying this but whatever. I am still not over my post concert depression. I don't know when I ever will get over this. I still can't believe that I actually met my all time favorite band.. k foin. One of my favorite bands in the whole widest world! And yes, I am allowed to invent such phrases because I am awesome like that.

I'd want to express myself completely but every time I log in to Blogger, I just can't seem to find the right words to come up with a decent post on my bottled emotions and thoughts inside of me that's just been trying to break free. I miss All Time Low. I miss Alex Gaskarth. I miss everything that happened that time.

"To hell with regrets!", I always say but it seems like I always go down with it. :(

Times like these feel so dangerous.

2011-10-15T17:00:00.001+08:00

I know my nails look radically gnarly but my sem break isn't making the cut. But whatever. My whole body is sore from playing badminton with my friends yesterday. I was darn too excited to play that I didn't get to warm up. Oh well.

Anyhoo, I try not to worry too much about school (e.g. Grades). I'm very, very nervous but yeah, I think I'll make it through. I hope. Another thing is that, I am still not over my ATL PCD. :( I know it's been weeks but I just can't bring myself to get over it. I'm sorry. I really am trying my hardest. I keep on denying the fact that 09/22/11 happened. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I do hope my sem break will turn out okay. Oh! And Lord, passing grades please!! :(

We go together like cocaine and waffles.

2011-10-09T08:49:00.000+08:00

Curiosity got the better of us when we were looking for a nice place to eat our lunch on our second day in Manila. We went to this cool arcade near ADMU which holds a wide range of nice restaurants. We had a hard time choosing between Moshi Moshi and Peanut Butter Company. But we settled for the latter since peanut butter on everything sounds awesome.

I ordered the Chicken BBQ Wings. I had Cherry Coke to wash it all down.

It was simply divine. I never knew BBQ and peanut butter could go so well with the chicken wings and rice. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this meal an 11. :) It's that good!

Ahh.. yes. Old school Cherry Coke. They don't sell these babies in Cdo anymore. Suxxx. The cool thing was that they redesigned the can. From the classic red can they had it changed to a lovely shade of pink. Lovely. I was on a soda abstinence but who could ever resist Cherry Coke in a dainty pink can? <3

I can't wait until my next trip back to Manila. I'll make sure to drop by the PB Company fo sho! I wanna try the other stuff they had up on their menu. Peanut Butter on everything is love love love. This is such a unique take on the good ol' PB. Btw, sorry for the low quality pics, I used my fone's cam app. *u*

You've got these little things that you've been running from.

2011-10-08T20:17:00.001+08:00

I stepped outside of the tiny ice cream shop after I got my fill of their scrumptious ice cream sandwich. I took a deep breath as I thought about how the rest of day will go until the concert. As I was losing myself in my thoughts, I caught a glimpse of a shiny one peso coin on the ground. I got amused and picked it up thinking it could be a lucky charm. I gave the little guy a kiss for good luck before slipping it inside my left jean pocket.

I started walking towards the train station to get from point A to point B. I have this really weird habit of looking at my feet when I walk. I stared at my beat up Chucks as I take on the trip one dusty step at a time. I was about to take my 37th step, my eyes widened as I found another one peso coin. I stopped dead on my tracks and picked up the second one peso coin for the day. I was so amused at the thought of finding 2 one peso coins in a row.

Suddenly, I had this urge to take it as a sign. So I told God that if I find a third one peso coin before I go back to Cdo, then this is it. I can't really tell you what I asked from God, it's darn too embarrassing. *u* the day progressed and still no third one peso coin in sight. The thought of finding the third coin slipped from my mind because I was super excited for the concert. Inside the big dome that night, we were pushing people away just to get as close as possible to the stage. We stood on these steel chairs to get a better view of the band. While waiting for the band to come out, I coincidentally looked down on the concrete floor just because..

My heart jumped to my throat as I stared at a one peso coin. The third one peso coin. I found it all before I left Manila. I could not believe what had just happened. All signs are slowly starting to point to "Yes" but Lord, is this really it?

Let me start over.

2011-10-08T09:24:00.005+08:00

Hello, hello! Today is officially the start of my sembreak. Thank the heavens. I do hope I get decent grades. Lord please. *u* Anyhow, a loooot has happened to me ever since I got back home from my little rendezvous in Manila. I'm still not over my post concert depression. It resurfaces every once in a while which makes me a total loon and a bipolar.

Frances, Mariel and I each bought a can of Rockstar Energy Drink. teehee because this was featured in ATL's I Feel Like Dancin' music video. :) this thing costs at around P70 at the airport. WTF. Oh well, money is no object. But it tasted so bad. We should've bought the purple one which is Rockstar Punch: Tropical Guava. hmmm

We gave these to the band aside from the scrapbook and native delicacies. haha that sounds weird. We forgot to take a picture of these with the barrels off. Sad, sad, saaad.

My concert ticket. <3

This was taken a few hours before the concert while we were lining up. :)

This was taken after the concert.

Yeyyy for new friends!! :) We made a lot of new friends from the album signing, airport and hotel staking, and concert. <3

I also made some new friends. Kina (L) and Sassja (R) are Frances and Mariel's highschool friends. They're really fun and nice. <3

It's been sixteen days since everything happened, but I'm still not over it. I don't know when I'll get cured from this PCD. :( Everytime I remember that experience, I feel sad. I didn't want all of it to end. I miss All Time Low. I miss Alex Gaskarth. :( I know I might sound like a psycho but you'll never understand how much I love this band. It's really difficult to explain what you're feeling when the band you've waited for four years has finally played a show in your country, never would I have thought that I'd actually get to watch their concert and even get to meet them. God is just so awesome. I'm really at a loss for words right now. My chest is slowly starting to get heavy. :') It seems like there's nothing to look forward to anymore.

I'm a book half unread.

2011-09-28T22:36:00.007+08:00

Soo.. I found this up on tumblr and I wanna answer all of them because I know no one would ever bother to leave a number on my ask box. Yes. I am that tumblr famous. haha Anyway, I am also pretty sure non-ATL fans who'd stumble on this humble (it rhymes haha) blog of mine would not bother to read this but I'm gonna answer them anyway because this is my blog so suck on that. haha Sorry.

1. My favorite ATL album would be Nothing Personal. It's one of their best records to date which have lifted them off to the semi-mainstream. haha I am such a noob when it comes to writing a "review" on albums.

2. Currently, my favorite ATL song is Guts from their newest album Dirty Work. This is also Alex's favorite song off the album (now you know the truth why I like this song haha)

3. I have a ton since ATL's songs has a lot of quotable lyrics in them but prolly my fave would be from Weightless.

"Maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonna be my year."

4. ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH

For all you know (or not) I am in love with the band's lead vocalist and guitarist, Alexander William Gaskarth. I fell in love with him the first time I saw one of their music videos. Let's face it, he IS a handsome man and he's got some power vocals and sweet moves with a guitar to back it all up. I also love the fact that he is such a genius when it comes to making music and writing songs. So, as you can see.. I am not as shallow and superficial as what you may have thought I am.

5. Evan Kirkendall (FOH Sound)

Evan Kirkendall is the most humble and sweetest crew guy I have ever "known" which is why he is my favorite crew member. Forgive thy lack of any other appropriate verb to use. My heart melted when he wrote a very nice entry on their first ever show here in the Philippines. :')

6. The first ever ATL song which I have heard was Dear Maria, Count Me In. It was lovely and very, very catchy. It went viral inside my head right after I finished listening to it.

7. The most played ATL song on my phone (I don't own an iPod, suxxxx) as of the moment.. I have three actually.. Guts, That Girl and Do You Want Me Dead?, all from their new album Dirty Work.

8. I have been to only one ATL show. It was in Araneta Coliseum in Manila last September 22, 2011. Best concert ever! <3 It was such a dream come true.

9. My favorite memory of ATL would prolly be when we stalked them at the hotel hours before the concert. It was pretty tiring though I had a lot of fun. Bittersweet memories of that day suddenly came crashing down on me.

10. My favorite ATL quote which is not from a song would be from Alex Gaskarth.. I have a lot but the one that struck me the most would be..

"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down and your eyes are shut."

11. My favorite ATL video.. I think it would have to be Dear Maria. I think I raped the replay button that time when I watched this video.

12. My favorite tattoo that the guys have would be the skull one.

Alex had his placed behind his ear.

Jack had his placed on his upper left arm

Zack had his placed on his right forearm.

Rian didn't get to have himself inked with the same tat as the other boys (I've read). He wasn't there when the guys got inked because it was his brother's wedding but their tour manager Matt Flyzik got one (I'm just a tad too lazy to look for a pic but I think he had his placed on his foot, I'm not sure though)

13. Yes. You could say that I have met ATL. I met them at the Dirty Work album signing in Manila last September 21, 2011. Haaayyy.. memories. :)

14. Yes, yes. I do support JALEX.

"JALEX is like a unicorn. You know it exists but you'll never see it."

I'm not sure who originally said (either Alex or Jack) that but I heard it at an interview up on Youtube and I heard Alex say this during their concert in Araneta.

Wow. That has been fun!! :) And I still have not studied for my Invertebrate Zoology Lab Final Exam for tomorrow. God bless me.
Before I forget, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE PICS (EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WITH EVAN KIRKENDALL, DUHHH HAHA).

Catch my breath and go for it.

2011-09-24T20:59:00.001+08:00

I still can't get over everything. I'm really sorry for spamming (as if anyone reads this anyways haha). I have waited a bajillion years for that day to arrive. Everything ended within an hour and thirty minutes or so. All that I have waited, wished, wanted, dreamed of.. happened in an hour and a couple of minutes. All Time Low's Dirty Work Show in Araneta was the second concert I've been to (first time was JBieb last summer 2011).

All Time Low gives out the bestest show ever!! No one can ever top that (for me that is). The whole entire time I was watching them play live, I kept on asking myself if everything was real. Up to this moment as I am typing this, I still can't believe I was able to watch them play live. I feel like crying so much right now. I didn't want that night to end. I want to follow All Time Low all over the globe. I friggin love these guys! They've managed to root themselves deeply in my heart that they have grown on me.

God, I am very, very, veeeery thankful for this experience. It felt like I was dreaming but I'm not. Reality still hasn't sank in. Post concert depression is such a bitch I tell ya! I want to share a lot of things with you about the concert but I'm not sure if I'm gonna do them any justice. I wish I could hook my brain on a projector and have you watch and experience what I have personally seen and experienced. Shit. Redundant. But oh well.. THANK YOU LORD! YOU NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME!

This was taken moments before the show.

Alex looked so adorable with the pink bra he used as a cape. <3

One of my fave moments during the show. This is so cute. <3 Merrikat

This guy has literally (yeah riiight) stole my heart and took it to Australia with him.

I felt infinite that night. I haven't felt so alive in such a long time. I thank you guys for giving me a quick escape from everything that's been holding me down (especially school, haha). I freakin love you guys so much!

I know, I know that this is my third post for the day. I really, really need to get things off of my chest. Finals are just around the corner and I need to get my shit together.

Pictures of memories buried in my heart.

2011-09-24T19:25:00.001+08:00

09/22/11 You will always, always, alwaaaays have a special place in my heart. :( Best Concert = Worst Post Concert Depression

I still can't over all that has happened to me, Mariel and Frances last September 21-22, 2011. It feels like everything was just a dream. All I ever asked from God was to watch them play live (I was being realistic) and I got so much more than what I had bargained for ("I've been dying to tell you anything.. lalala.. HAHA). I am deeply thankful to God for this wonderful experience. But as we all know, man is such a selfish creature. Once we get what we want, we'd always want something more.

Everything seemed like a blur. We greeted them at the airport and sang Six Feet Under the Stars to them. We even stalked them at the hotel. I even got to have my Dirty Work CD+DVD Tour Edition Album signed and met all four of them. Which reminds me.. during the Album Signing in SM The Block in North Edsa..

Rian was the first one who signed my cd. After he signed it, he smiled at me and then he passed it to Alex who was sitting on his left side. Alex looked at me, I was still a few feet away from him because I froze in place. I was standing there like a bloody idiot. I could feel my jaw drop on the floor. Alex made me snap back to reality by saying, "Hi!" to me. OHMYEFFINGOSH. ALEXANDER WILLIAM GASKARTH SAID HI TO ME. //dying

I then smiled at him and slowly inched my way to the table. Alex then signed my cd. He then passed it to Jack. Fuck. I couldn't even talk! I didn't even get to say "Thank You!" or whatever. I WAS THAT STARSTRUCKED. Shit. I feel so ruuuude. :( I then moved to stand right in front of Jack. While Jack was signing, I glanced at Alex.. his left hand (with the rose tattoo) was inches away from me. I couldn't believe they were actually right in front of me signing my cd. I then reached out with my left index finger and poked his hand. Alex was startled and looked at me. He was so amused with what I did and prolly how I looked while I did that, that he snorted a little laugh. DAFUQ is wrong with mehhh. After Jack signed my cd, he gave it to me and he was really nice and bubbly and said, "Thank You!" to me. GAAHH. I didn't even say anything. Not even a tiny squeal. Or a smile perhaps.

I gave my cd to Zack and have him sign it. After he signed my cd, that was when I got back to reality. I was able to say an overenthusiastic, "Thank You so much!" to Zack. He nodded at me and gave me a.. uhh.. Idk. Smile? UGGH. He was so NVR (no visible reaction, haha thanks Chemistry for the term haha)

And then before I know it.. my turn for the album signing was done. I found myself staring at my signed album and trying to take everything in. EFFIN INSANE. Well, this experience somehow managed to get on my Biggest Regrets In Life List. But I am still very thankful to God for the awesome experience.

Dear Manila, will you count us in?

2011-09-24T08:03:00.005+08:00

All my life I have wished to God a bajillion times how much I'd want to meet All Time Low especially Alex Gaskarth (love of my life). God is just so awesome, I tell you. My heart feels so heavy right now and regret has been my best friend these past few days.

I have post concert depression (at its worst). One of my biggest regrets (I have a ton) in my life happened last September 22, 2011 in Shangrila Hotel. I was with my friends Mariel and Frances in Shangrila Hotel along with some other fans "stalking" the band and hopefully get to meet them somehow. We saw Matt Flyzik (the awesomest band manager ever) passing by us. We couldn't take a picture with him because he's so busy and he apologized to us. Then we saw Rian (drummer) walk by us with a crew member from the restaurant. SHOOT. I froze in place when I saw him. We tried calling him but apparently, his hearing is just so bad that all he ever did was walk by us and half glanced at us. :( *cries forever*

Then Jack (guitarist) came out and.. HE WAS ALONE. Jackpot!! haha But he ran through the other entrance when he saw us trying to run to him and we couldn't follow him because there were these hotel security people guarding. //slits wrist But there was this girl who really ran to Jack and made him sign a bunch of cds. Badass. :) Jack then went to the restaurant because he still needs to eat.

We kept on seeing crew members. We would say "Hi!" to them and we even got to take a picture with some of them. I got to take a picture with Jeff Maker (he's a Lighting God I tell ya!!) and Evan Kirkendall (FOH Sound).

With Jeff Maker aka The Lighting God

With Evan Kirkendall the FOH Sound guy. heehee we look adorbzzz :)

We then saw Zack (bassist) walking all alone. I ran to him with Mariel. There were some girls who got there first and made him sign some cds. But he stopped signing them when he saw a huge group of fans running towards him. ARGGHHHH. This is so frustrating. Anyway, he then left because he still needs to eat his breakfast.

We waited there for what seemed like eternity. We then saw Jack, Zack, Rian, crew members and Ovation Productions people passing by. BUT STILL NO ALEX GASKARTH IN SIGHT. I felt so hopeless because we still need to meet up with some of Frances and Mariel's friends in Katipunan and it's kinda far from where we were. I kept on praying to God for Alex Gaskarth to come down. I felt like crying already. I sooo wanna take a picture with him. I went all the way from Cagayan de Oro just to meet them and see them play live. I prayed soooo hard to God.

GOD IS JUST SO AWESOME. ALEX GASKARTH CAME DOWN. ALONE.
Girls ran to him and hugged him. I ran to him, I wanna hug him too but I couldn't 'cause there were these girls hugging him already. Plus he even told us, "Guys, I'm really sorry! I really shouldn't be doing this right now." He kept on apologizing and there were these hotel security people trying to control the small crowd. All I ever managed to do was hold his left arm and call out his name. YES I WAS SO NEAR HIM.

To be honest with you. I am making up stupid excuses. "Oh, I can't go near him because there were these other fans crowding around him." or "The hotel security people are trying to control the small crowd." I could come up with a million other reasons why I didn't get to take a picture with him or have him sign my notebook or even hug him.

I got scared.
Of what you may ask? I DON'T KNOW. :( Of getting rejected prolly? BUUUUTT.. I'll never let this live down. :( I am so sad. I let that once in a lifetime chance slip off my fingers. I WAS SO CLOSE TO HAVING IT ALL. But.. ARGHHHH. I am just so frustrated right now. I can never forgive myself for being so stupid and second guessing myself. That's my problem! I keep on overanalyzing every situation I am placed in. It's sometimes a good thing because I saved my ass from getting kicked.. but.. there are times we just need to wing it. Try and actually do things instead of saying "What if.. ?" I am just really depressed right now that I cried so hard this morning. I don't know if I'll ever get a second chance and that's what hurts soooo much. I know I did get to meet all four of them during the album signing. But we're not allowed to take pictures. SUXXXX

So.. there goes my baby (as what Usher would have it) haha.. HUHUHUHU Lord, I need a second chance. Please. :( But the chances are slim. Oh well. Regrets, regrets, regrets.

"I like to remind myself I was lucky enough to have had time with him at all." I'm trying to get through all of this mess with this quote. :') Hopefully, that gaping hole inside my heart would soon heal.

A BIIIG THANK YOU TO FRANCES FACTURA FOR THE PICS <3 <3 <3

Wanna whisper in your ear.

2011-09-21T02:59:00.001+08:00

I will be backlogging on a lot of stuff since I am not able to update my blog as much as I'd want to.

My beloved blockmates made this 3D Animal for the King of the Jungle thingy. haha and hell yeah.. We won the Best 3D Animal. Yeyyy!! My blockmates are so awesome.

Some of the people behind the winning masterpiece. haha

L: headdress; R: preparing Paul minutes before the program

My ever supportive blockmates. :)

Paul with the other contestants in their costumes.

BioMonkey. hahaha

G Club (plus Princess and Sittie) with Mr. U aka Paul. haha

Paul won 1st Runner Up, btw. I am so proud. All the hardwork has paid off.

Even though Paul only won as the 1st Runner Up and we didn't win the Voter's Choice Award, I am so thankful that we all did well. We even won the Best 3D Animal. At least we didn't go home empty handed. ;)

My heart is yours.

2011-09-21T02:42:00.001+08:00

It's 2:30am and here I am.. wide awake. I can't sleep. I'm terrified of going to sleep. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour.. such an unusual thing at this time of the day. So, I would want to take this time to reflect on all that's been happening to me lately.

I would want to thank God for blessing me with more than what I deserve. I feel so ashamed because I feel so unworthy of all these gifts. Even though I feel like I am drowning with all this madness, there are still some things in my life which are staying afloat. Thank you so much Lord for blessing me with such a wonderful family. My family may not be perfect but it's the closest thing there is to one. I know there aren't any perfect families out there.. but the point is, I am thanking God for this priceless gift.

Thank you for all my wonderful, wonderful friends. Friends who have stuck with me through the years and new friends who keep me company while my old friends aren't within reach.

Lord, I do hope that when I get back from Manila, I'll be able to pull through everything and survive. Lord, I can't do this without you. I need your help. Please. I beg you. Save my soul.

Free my mind.

2011-09-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

Hello!! August and September, so far, have been bittersweet months. :) Soooo much has happened, is happening and will happen. haha

ALL TIME LOW LIVE IN MANILA!!! See you soon, loves. :) I'll be leaving for Manila on the 21st. I know, I know. I'm risking a lot. But I love these guys so effin much and I have been waiting my entire life to see them play live.

Mariel, Frances and I are busy working on a scrapbook for these sexy muthafuckas. :)

With my fellow gold diggers. haha both men and women won 1st place for the 4x100m relay. Grandslam babyyyy!! :) Thank you Lord!!

My blockmates went to our house right after our 7:30am class (Inverts Lec) to watch the coronation of Miss Universe 2011. Too bad Shamcey Supsup didn't get to take home the crown. :< I had sooo much fun with my homies. haha we then went back to school at around 12nn something since we still had our afternoon classes.

Biolympics 2011. :) My body was beaten to a pulp. I played volleyball, badminton, soccer and basketball the entire day. I regret nothing. :)

My beloved talent. HAHA This was during our ArtScies General Assembly. My friend was the representative of our course and I was the one tasked to handle him. Btw, if you're wondering why he's wearing a monkey inspired costume.. the theme was King of the Jungle. Will post the other deets on this in a separate entry. :) He won 1st Runner Up!! Yeyyyy!! Proud manager. haha

I'm trying to memorize 100 shells. Scientific Names, Genus, Common Names and all. May God bless us all. Lord help us.

Belated Happy, happy birthday Adin and Paulo!! :) Will backlog on this. Sweaaaar!! I will find the time to do this. :)

I guess those are the highlights of my life lately. haha Will be backlogging in a while. Gosh. :) I am so lazyyyyyy. Forgive me.

It's not like you to take a risk.

2011-09-10T07:08:00.000+08:00

I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I feel so upset with all that's happening to me right now. The fact that my hormones are whacked out only make things worse. I would want to rant about how I'm feeling right now because I feel so upset and it's driving me nuts.

What a douche. It feels like you know that I like you and you're taking advantage of my feelings. I cannot believe how stupid I am to feel so giddy with the moments we share together. I have a lot to say to you but every time I try to speak, my tongue just shrinks inside my mouth. Not a single syllable even, manages to escape. I want to punch you squarely in the face for making me feel things. Things that only exist in my world. I feel like a total loon.

I'll sing your blues and swallow them too.

2011-09-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

My heart feels like it's about to explode into a supernova inside my chest. A gaping hole right smack in the middle of my husky frame. I can't help but tear at the seams. My head is wandering away and into the black hole that's growing in me. I'm falling apart. My flesh slowly start to separate from my bones. The tissues are disengaging from their impermeable form and into tiny blocks of cells.

Slowly, slowly.. I start to wither away into the darkness. I'm losing my effervescence along with my sanity. I stand there as I watch myself fall into nothingness. I die.

You crowd around me on the floor.

2011-08-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

Luna made all four chambers of my heart ache. I never knew it would have such a huge impact on me. BTW, let me rant about how I got this awesome book at National Bookstore for only thirty freakin' pesos (!!!) what a steal :) Well, as you can see, one of the corners of the cover has been torn but whatevs. It's just the cover. THE BOOK IS AHHH-MAZING. Even though I typed that in all caps, it's still an understatement of how awesome this book is. It really did made me cry.

It tackles the issue on homosexuality and this longing of acceptance and being free. It plays around with the brother-sister relationship between Liam (Luna) and Regan. I just love the fact that Regan, at such a young age is so.. how do I say this.. strong? I don't know. But she's trying to be strong for her brother/sister and at the same time keeping her sanity in check because of school and everything else in between. You know what, why don't you just read the book because I believe I'm not doing it any justice by ranting to you in a trying hard book review-esque post. :) This is a great coming of age book, I tell you.

Do you want me dead?

2011-08-14T06:28:00.001+08:00

In science, coincidence is when two rays of light strike a surface at the same point and at the same time. But to me, it means much more than that. For about a year, I have been feeding my hopes with coincidences. I always feel alive and giddy deep inside every time I get my fill. It's doing my system some good which is why I always take it as a sign or divine intervention maybe.

But there came a point in my life lately that I can't help but say to myself that everything I ever believed in was just complete and utter bullshit. None of it was ever real. I can't believe how stupid I was to believe all of these things in the first place. I don't want to take the blame but I was the one who took the fall and I can never deny that.

A tongue like a nightmare.

2011-08-05T18:32:00.000+08:00

Just this afternoon I took my last exam for the week.I still have one more I think next week. My Parasitology exam was, well.. manageable. Thank God. I do hope I pass that exam. On a lighter note, I have decided not to be such a bitch to anyone. I can't believe it's August already and Midterm week has just ended. We're halfway there and hello sem break! I don't like this week because I am sick as a dog. :O Cough, cold, hyperacidity attack.. Jeez. The last one has been a first. And I do hope and pray will be the last. I don't really have much to say and I just wanna give a shoutout that yes I am still alive and kickin. :)

Oh. Please do meet my new husband, Francisco Lachowski. :) Haha I got this picture off tumblr. Such a smexxy guy. Models like him are the epitome of perfect in every way. heehee

My blockmates and I got bored one Parasitology lab session that we decided to just take pictures of ourselves. We were supposed to look for the parasites in our slides but then.. :) Helloooo sexy Megan Fox! <3 haha!

Matth came home from the US. He treated us to dinner one time.. I forgot when it was though. :O

With my dear partner in crime slash igat buddy. haha We hosted our GA last July something. haha I'd like to believe I am one of the most engot host ever. I am such a noob when it comes to hosting.

With my G Club loves and Ria. haha this was taken after our GA. I love these guys (and Ria). <3 just showin' them some loooove. haha

These have been a huuuge part of my life lately. Hahaha my oh my. These babies keep me company during our Invertebrate Zoology lab (my fave Bio lab subject haha)

With my girls at Missy Bonbon during Kyang and Nai's joint birthday treat. :P haha thank you loves! :)

I do hope I didn't bore you with this pic-filled post of what my life has been up lately. Will update again soonest! :)

You're just a daydream away.

2011-07-31T20:12:00.000+08:00

I got to spend an entire afternoon with you. My heart caved in when we went to this place which I kept on yearning for the past eleven months. For almost a year, I finally got the closure I've been dying to have. I finally got over that stupid promise of yours. I finally stopped hoping, wishing, wanting. I never knew that this day would actually come. It's far from what I had imagined but it did happen.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about all of this. I don't know where this leaves me to. Prolly, my heart would be at peace? I hope.

That entire afternoon I had with you made me realize a lot of things. One would be, I wasn't really in like with you but instead, I was in like with the idea of you. It's kinda hard to explain as of the moment because I think I'm probably in denial right now.. but the point is, I don't like you as much as I thought I did. And I'd like to say that coincidences and signs make my heart bleed in the end. Fate and destiny are just plain bull. They don't mean anything. I know I sound so bitter.. because I am.

I'm better than good. I'm bad.

2011-07-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

My hair is shorter than ever. I didn't plan on this one though. See? This is it. This is my problem. I have this strange obsession with having my hair cut every single time something major upsets me. Sorry. I couldn't think of any other adjective.

There's this thing inside my brain which snaps every time I get so upset that a haircut would be the only remedy I have to feel better again. I know. I'm weird. But, the thing is (which I have mentioned before) I didn't expect my hair to be THIS short. UGH. The last time I had a similar haircut was 3rd year highschool and now I'm a 3rd year college student. Relevant? :)

It's still out of my reach.

2011-07-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

Lately, life has been full of disappointments. I have been working so hard these past few months to get my life back on track. But in a matter of how many days, all of that went down the hole. I can not believe how my life turned out. I wasn't prepared for this. I feel like I've been robbed of everything that I used to believe in. I'm left with nothing.

I'm trying to be optimistic, believe me. I keep on reminding my heart that something way waaaay better will come out of this but I feel so hopeless. I'm trying to be strong right now. I'm trying to not get affected but disappointment is such a huge wave and I can't help but get dragged by the undertow.

I thought things will get better but I was wrong. I feel like my heart has been ripped off my chest and dropped into a blender. My school wiped out the track team. I hate my life right now. And to add to all this monstrosity of a chaos, some people are being big time assholes.

HNNNG. I hate being bitter. I'm sorry. I'll do my best to be better and not bitter.

I don't know why.

2011-06-12T06:26:00.002+08:00

In all my pambahay glory. Yes, I am aware that I look like shit. But too much shit is happening right now. Bad puns aside, I feel so sad. It's just the first week of classes that's up but it feels like eternity already. Too much negativity. My heart is aching so much due to a lot of reasons. I'm sorry if this post is gonna be lengthy.

My friends and I visited our high school Math teacher in the hospital since he was confined there for chemo sessions because of his stage four lung cancer. It was my first time to visit him last Friday. But unfortunately, he was in so much pain that we didn't even stay long so that he could rest properly. He kept on complaining of a major headache and he was moaning and kept on asking for his older brother to massage his head to somehow soothe the pain even just a little. But last night, I received text messages from my schoolmates that our beloved teacher fell into a coma after his third seizure. I am scared and I feel helpless. Please do include him in your prayers.

On a darker note, my grandfather's sister recently died and I don't know how it is I'm supposed to feel. She was a close family relative of ours since we're practically neighbors with her. I have not shed a tear.. yet. I am still in this state of denial. I think I might break down anytime, which is not good because I am in school most of the time. Please pray for her soul that she may rest in peace.

I feel so sad right now because I am doing my best to work hard and prepare myself for the varsity try outs but it feels like the odds are not in my favor because of my toe. I was crying so much the other day because I could not believe my toe is wounded again. I don't want it removed for the third time. I feel like slitting my wrists right now. Plus my grandmother keeps on telling me not to play Track anymore and she kept on lecturing me that I'll endanger my toe again. I hate my life right now. Not to sound all emo shit but I'm tired of seeing my toe wounded. It's such a hassle with everything. Lord, help me.

I feel like I am floating everywhere right now. I have nowhere to land and there's nothing to keep me grounded. The stupid weather is making me even sadder because of its gloominess. I was so emo yesterday because it's like my friends were avoiding me because of my depressing aura. They didn't even ask me to join them during our break even though they saw me alone. I felt like a total dipshit for roaming around the campus aimlessly waiting for someone to actually ask me what's wrong and offer me a seat with them to keep me company. What? Am I actually that miserable and depressing? What. The. Hell. Oh well, I think it's back to square one for me. I know that you've probably seen "shit" in this post like a gazillion times but that's just how I am feeling right now. But last night I have decided not to feel so miserable but instead I'll get even with them. Hah. I know I sound so pathetic right now but believe me when I say my pathetic ways are very effective in moving hills and mountains. Okay, I've been talking way too much here. I just really want to let this out because it's so intoxicating that I feel like it's choking me to death. I need to stop, take a breath and think. I'll get through this. I always do. ;)

I can take your problems away.

2011-06-05T12:26:00.000+08:00

I have never really been a fan of posting old pics of myself. With old pics, I mean my prepubescent days. Way, way before things stopped making sense and before things got complicated. My point is, I miss the old carefree days of being a kid. But as they say, life doesn't wait for you and eventually we have to grow up.

Tomorrow will be the first day of classes of my third year in college. Wow. I never thought I'd make it this far since college has been a truly scary world for me before I got plunged into the billows of complexities. Anyway, here I am counting the hours away before I go back to reality.

I deeply thank God for giving me another year to prove my worth in this world. Another year for me to learn and improve myself, to be wiser and stronger. I do hope and pray I will survive all that's going to be thrown my way. I want to lie low this year, I'll just wait and see how that'll work out for me. ;) I want to focus on the things that actually matter to me. As what Buddha Bob would have stated it, "Focus on what matters, not what angers."

Hahaha I've been watching way too much Big Time Rush. But you gotta give the guy some credit for the deepness of that statement. I need to stay chill yet functional. I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed! Smile! :) I do hope we'll all have a wonderful school year! Bring it on!! \m/

Impossible is nothing.

2011-05-31T08:55:00.001+08:00

I am so thankful right now that I have managed to enroll myself in less than a day. Thank you so much Lord. I am officially a 3rd year BS Biology student. I never knew I'd reach this far in college. I thought I might end up in a different course or worse.. lose my sanity along the way. It sucks to know that I have Calculus so late in the evening. 6:50pm to 8:05pm. What is my life. I hate Math.

My whole body hurts. x_____x But it's okay. Pain is good. :) I need to continue conditioning my body if I wanna play in the varsity team this semester. Lord, help me! I can do this!

I have 3 majors this first semester. I have Invertebrate Zoology Lab and Lec, Microbiology Lab and Lec, and Parasitology Lab and Lec. Yes! I can do this! I will survive this sem, this schoolyear! :) Stay positive! :">

Searching for our saving grace.

2011-05-27T15:29:00.001+08:00

Thank God it's Friday! Life is so good to me lately even though there are times I feel like jumping off a cliff. Seriously. ;) I am so glad I was able to finish I Am Number Four (Thanks Gang for lending me the book!) and I was also able to watch the movie the very next day I finished the book. I then slowly started reading Do You Come Here Often? but I am still not yet through. I am also trying to finish Sputnik Sweetheart and I am almost done with it, this is such a lovely story I tell you! Haruki Murakami is beyond awesome! He writes such lovely words that I can't help but fall in love with every quote that he incorporates into the story. I am also now reading the third installment of The Hunger Games Trilogy which is Mockingjay beacuse I have finished reading Catching Fire yesterday and it was totally wicked! I do hope that when they make the movie version they'll do the book some justice because it is just so awesome!

I have been a total bookworm lately because I am in the mood to read the piles and piles of pending books in my bedroom. I have also a ton of ebooks in my laptop waiting to be read. Most of them are Haruki Murakami's works. Today has been awesome, I am enjoying my day with a good book, chocolate and Sbux's bottled coffee by my side. Life is good. :)

On a darker note, my molar (which broke right after I took a huge bite off a bread. WHAT.) has been putting me in misery. It keeps on throbbing with pain after each meal. I am on the verge of having it pulled off this Monday. I swear to God. I can't take the pain anymore. So, I'll have this huge gap on the upper right side of my almost perfect set of teeth. I think I'll be wearing braces again to close that insane gap. What is my life. :O Anyway, I shall not dwell on that anymore.. life goes on and we're bound lose a tooth or two along the way.

Save me from myself.

2011-05-24T12:43:00.002+08:00

Hello! Summer is about to end in a few weeks and I'll be stuck in school again. Lately, I have been bored out of my wits. I have been doing a lot of stuff to keep myself entertained. So far this summer, I have..

Started playing takyan again
Tried playing sepak takraw
Started looking up on Youtube for capoiera tutorials
Trying to read all 16 pending books and ebooks
Learning how to do a cartwheel
Looking for a hacky sack (I asked my friend who's in the US right now to buy me one or maybe even a set :P)
Rearranging my disaster of a closet
Exercising daily
Meaning to do jump rope again (does that even make any sense? wtf haha)

Soooo.. basically, that is all. I need a life. x__________x

I'm about to break.

2011-05-23T09:42:00.001+08:00

I've been told that letting a promise break you is far worse than watching a person break his promise. At least, that's how I remember it.

Ten months and counting.. I don't know how long I'll be keeping my mouth shut. I know I should have gotten over this whole thing ages ago but the thing is, I just can't. I have managed to keep it sealed deep down my unconscious mind but suddenly it resurfaces. I think it's because I never got any closure. I've been left hanging on to plans that never pushed through. I kept on holding on to that tiny flicker of hope every single time he says "next time".

I can't help but hope that someday something might actually come off from all this waiting and wishful thinking. But I'm getting jaded from all this senseless hoping. I just hope I don't break anymore.

This was supposed to be the easy part.

2011-05-21T17:31:00.005+08:00

I can't tell you how terrified I am right now. I am not sure of everything that I am feeling lately. But I tell you, I am happy, really, I am. But I want something more. I guess it's one of those instances that even though you're very happy with what you have right now.. you'd always want more. I want something I could hold on to. Something that's real.

Lots of times, I'd want to tell you how I truly feel but I am scared. I've been dropping hints lately but I don't know if you're getting it. But it seems to me that you already know.. I'm not sure. And that scares the hell out of me. Everything is so uncertain.

I keep reminding myself not to get so attached to you but I can't help it. You drive me insane with your mixed signals. Signs point to "yes". But something keeps holding me back.. holding you back. Please cut to the chase. I am on the verge of throwing everything out the window. I am hanging on a thread.

I've got a big time crush on you.

2011-05-19T08:49:00.000+08:00

The butterflies in my stomach are killing me. The constant rush of adrenaline ain't helping either. Not to mention the sweaty palms I get whenever you're near me. There is always a harmless hiccup in my heart's rhythm when I think of you. I feel like my heart is hammering out of my chest when we're together. For the past days, I feel like everything is just a dream. Everything feels too good to be true.

I can't really tell what is this I am feeling right now. But one thing's for sure, I am happy. :)

Stuck in the moment.

2011-05-12T16:14:00.000+08:00

May 10 has been an eventful day for me for two years in a row. (Hello May 10, 2010 National Elections!) Last Tuesday, my mom, sister, cousin and I went to Manila for JBieb's My World Concert. It was my first time ever to watch a major concert. So, I was simply ecstatic!

My sister, cousin and I went to MOA as early as 2pm-ish to at least maybe buy some merch or catch a glimpse of JBieb. We immediately went to the MOA Concert Grounds. We hung around by the Meet and Greet entrance backstage silently praying for a miracle.

We were so desperate even though the early afternoon sun was beating on us and the heat stings. But at around 4pm-ish, my mom told us to start lining up because they'll be letting people in by 5pm. So, my sister, cousin and I went up to the first entrance to line up. We weren't that far from the entrance since we lined up early. What seemed like infinity and beyond in the line, we heard the girls lingering by the backstage gate scream. My head jerked to face their direction.. HOLY MOLY! It's JBieb! (I sincerely hope my brain and eyes weren't playing tricks on me) He was wearing this purple shirt and he was running right across the parking area and there were girls chasing after him, screaming their heads off. No picture because I was caught off guard.suxxx

My initial thought was: "SHIZZ! Should I run after him and leave the line even though there are like a bajillion people waiting in line behind me?!" Well, obviously I didn't take that damn risk. HNNNG. Regrets. But maaaaan.. His hair looked so dazzling under the sun. It was so shiny and.. bright. <3

Anyways, the concert was super duper awesome even though JBieb was sick. He constantly needs to leave the stage to vomit because of his chest infection. But he was such a trooper! You couldn't even tell he was sick while he performed onstage! He is that amazing I love you Justin Bieber! Get well soon!

P.S. I know this entry is so laaaaame. My thoughts are all over the place. I will post again about the JBieb concert over the weekend!! :)

I went to love and back.

2011-05-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if my mom stalks my blogspot.. but if ever she does.. Happy Mother's Day my beloved Mommy! I know I am not a perfect example of an ideal daughter. I drink, I smoke, I do drugs, I break my curfew all the time, I fail all of my classes.. Not. :) Just kidding. I know you know that I don't do all of those things and never will I ever attempt of doing so.

It's because I don't want to break your heart for being a huge pain in the neck. I may be a stubborn, crazy daughter but you have put up through all of my crazy buffoonery. Here I am, now an incoming third year BS Biology student. Thank you so much for being there with me all the way. I love you so much for being so supportive in all my goals and endeavors. I don't know where in the world I would be without you.

Thank you so much for raising me into a good person. (I believe I am one :P) I am also very sorry for all of my shortcomings but believe me, I am doing my best to obey you but there are times I get sidetracked with life that I forget who I am and what I'm supposed to do. But rest assured, I will make you proud. I love you, Mommy! You are awesome! But even with that sentence ending this little post of mine, it's still an understatement. You are loved. Always. :)

Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.

2011-05-08T10:45:00.002+08:00

Heyyy! So I'll be leaving on Tuesday already. I am so freaking excited. I'm really sorry I feel so all over the place right now. I have yet to pack my stuff. My room is a total pigsty.. minus the icky smell of course. :)

I have managed to finish two scripts yesterday for the three-scene role play for Noli Me Tangere. It's the best I could do since I'll be leaving my groupmates to fend on their own. I still need to make the last one today so all would be well while I am away.

I still need to finish my Herbarium and classify the bat which I will be preserving. I still have not made my Dichotomous Key Lab Report on Plants. Major FML. So, I need to pass tomorrow my Herbarium, preserved specimen, Dichotomous Key and Drawings for the sixth Lab Exercise. WHEW. This is the price I had to pay for being away from school for two days. This trip better be worth it! :P Lord, help me. :) I can do this.

I would kill for a chance to drive away from here.

2011-05-06T07:11:00.000+08:00

It's really difficult to be on the gray with someone you like. You're never really sure of things between the two of you. You know it's there but you're not sure what it actually is. You spend time together and you can't help but fall for him every single time. For every joke that he cracks, for every random high school story that he shares.. somewhere deep inside the four chambers of the heart, a heartstring gets tugged.

There are times when you think you're so sure of everything and you've got everything figured out. You think that it's a mutual thing and you can't help but feel so giddy.. something comes knocking everything over. You're there left alone surrounded by the debris of what have been and what could have been. You're back to square one. Sweetie, what is going on?

Do your best to save some face.

2011-05-04T18:56:00.003+08:00

Hello, hello! Wow. Time flies super duper fast. It is May already. Summer classes are almost over and I can hardly contain my excitement. Next week, I am so looking forward to my little rendezvous with Jbieb in Manila. :P Lately, I have been happier. I try not to sulk so much because it is so just not worth it. My chest is getting heavy and I don't like it that is why I'm throwing all the emotional baggage out of my life.

I had some Froyo this afternoon with my Bio friends. And ohhh lala.. Popping Boba is love. The way it pops (well, duh :P) inside your mouth and the juice filling just washes through your tongue and throat.. Lovely.

School has been kind to me lately. I'm not that stressed. Thank God. My grades are doing well, thank you very much. Anyway, I do hope May would be a smooth ride. I need to stay positive. Smile! Life is good. :)

Close your eyes.

2011-04-24T20:27:00.000+08:00

Hello. I can't switch my brain from vacation mode to school mode and ohmygolly it's Monday tomorrow. I have one Lab Report due tomorrow. I need to make a Dichotomous Key. HNNNG. I dislike making one of these. Especially one for plants. Oh well, life of a Biology major.

On a lighter note, I can't wait to go out and run again tomorrow! It's been months already. I miss running. :( I really, really do. I have been running all my life! Okay, scratch that.. since elementary. There you go. I want to play again. I feel so sad. I do hope I'll be able to play this school year in the varsity team. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed. I will be training hard to get back in shape. :) I'm feeling positive and hopeful with this.

I really need to stop being all emo and shizz. It's summer!!! I need to take more risks. I'm definitely running out of time.

It's killing me and taking control.

2011-04-22T14:54:00.001+08:00

Lately, I feel so lonely. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way. Alone and lonely are two different things. When you're alone it doesn't necessarily mean you're unhappy unlike the latter. I feel so empty. The emptiness is killing me and driving me insane.

I feel like I need something in my life to fill this void. I am not happy. I am so sorry. I really am trying my hardest to stay sane and happy. But there are times when I'm all alone in my room, reality just gets me every time.

I want to do something but there are a few things that are holding me back. I feel so restrained in my life right now and that just adds to the emptiness. I'm struggling to get out of this box the world has placed me in. As of the moment, I don't know what to do. Two more years left before I graduate college. I'm running out of time. I just want to drop every fear I have inside my body and take that chance.

You'll never catch us.

2011-04-21T13:09:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm not me anymore. I'm not taking care of myself. I'm slacking in my summer classes. I'm losing heart again. No, please not now. But right now I feel like there is a Divine Intervention. Thank you Lord. :) I suddenly feel happy and hopeful.

Reminders:

Drink lots of water. The summer heat is ridiculously crazy.

Smile more often. :) Don't be emo. Please. No.

Sleep early. I need to take care of myself.

Pay attention in class. Especially in Biosystematics Lab! Jeez.

Be friendly. *u* I feel like I'm being a total snob all over again. NOOOOO

Be extra nice to everybody. I feel like a total bitch right now. Bitch fits here and there. Uh-uh. Not nice.

Stay optimistic.

Drop every fear, take a chance! ;)

Pray more often. I'll never survive life without God. I owe Him everything. <3

Permanent jetlag.

2011-04-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

Hello, hello! I am doing my best right now to stay positive amidst all the crazy, stupid, shallow things that has been thrown my way recently. I don't want to be sad and emo. It's summertime for crying out loud. I have been looking forward for this time to come and I can't let anything or anyone ruin this.

I am in a situation which is very, very, veeeeery toxic. To the point that I am not myself anymore. I will not lose heart. I will stay positive and focus on the things that actually matter. I know I have been stuck in a dark rut lately (judging from my emo shit posts, haha). I don't know.. I found beauty in woefulness that I always regard to self-pity to console my inconsolable self.

Smile! Today is another awesome day to be alive! :)

Split me like a Gemini.

2011-04-13T04:10:00.000+08:00

April is slowly stabbing me through my chest. It has managed to hit a vital part of my heart. Every breath I take, the scalpel only digs deeper into my body. I tried ignoring every pang of pain. I don't have the guts to pull the scalpel out either. As time flutters away, the scalpel felt like it has become a part of my body. It's embedded in my muscles and bones. A new organ which my cells have formed. The pain from the stab, being a part of the system was slowly becoming a familiar entity.

Shoot the sunshine into my veins.

2011-04-02T14:37:00.003+08:00

I feel like at this point in my life, so far.. I have seen the wonders of prayer. :) God is definitely awesome. I went to school this morning to check my final grade in Physics. I was hopelessly hoping for a miracle. I prayed so hard to get another chance at life. I was practically shaking when I went up the stairs to the Physics Department.

I quickly scanned the list of ID Numbers. "B". WOAH. Happy April Fool's Day :P Belated that is. Wrong ID Number. HAH! I scanned again, when I got to my ID Number.. I braced myself for what I was about to see.. "D".

Thank You so much Lord! I passed! I know it may seem mediocre, but what the heck?! If your life's on the line already, all you gotta do is take what you get! Thank You so much Lord for giving me another chance! Thank You! I am so happy right now. A big part of me can finally breathe. :) I checked like a million times to make sure if it really was MY ID Number.. and it was. :"> Thank You Lord. I immediately went to the chapel and prayed to God. I thanked Him for this wonderful news. I love you so much Lord!!! :)))) God will ALWAYS, ALWAAAAAYS make a way. :)

Just off the key of reason.

2011-04-01T12:17:00.000+08:00

So I thought, why not get a Monroe Piercing since I love Marilyn Monroe so much?! And yes, I did get that piercing. It's worth the pain I tell you. Trust me. Believe me I'm lying. ;)

Hello April! Finally, you have arrived. I do hope and pray that April would be nice to me. Summer classes are gonna start next week and I am so not yet prepared. I hope this summer would be a blast! School and everything else in between!

I am also counting the days until May 10, 2011! :) JBieb, wait for me. I'm coming for you! Pretty much, the first two weeks of my summer vacation has been boring and unproductive. I hate it. I want to get out of the house and at the same time lock myself inside my room. Lord, I do hope things would get better soon. :>

Down the rabbit hole.

2011-03-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

I once knew this girl who's got everything figured out. A girl who's so sure of herself that she can make it alone in this harsh, unfamiliar world. A girl who knew what she wanted in life. A girl who's spirit was so high that no one could ever touch her and bring her down. That girl knew she was built not to break and so she fears nothing. She's always game for anything thrown her way. She never lost hope when the path would get a little blurry. She takes hold of life and steers it her way.

One day, that girl suddenly got sucked into this black hole called reality. The walls she built around herself got knocked down. She tried to get out of the hole. She did everything she could to escape the clawing hands all over her. She fought so hard to get back on life.. but the thread of hope she held on to broke. That was the last time I ever saw that girl. I miss that girl who gave me so many reasons to look forward to everyday and keep on living.

I miss myself.

Drinking tea in the garden.

2011-03-17T08:28:00.000+08:00

I know I have been posting a lot of emo shizz lately. To make up for the dreary, miserable posts.. let's take a little stroll in the Ferrero Garden. ;) Bad pun. Anyway, I simply love Ferrero Rocher's take on fruity (and yes Pistachio is a fruit, a dry, dehiscent one that is.Coconut is a fruit, a drupe. Thanks Plant Morpho-Anatomy! I knew you'd come in handy one day!) flavors for their chocolates. What we have here is their Limited Edition Ferrero Garden.

It comes in four yummy flavors. They have L-R: Coconut, Strawberry, Pistachio and Lemon

L-R: Pistachio, Coconut, Lemon and Strawberry

Overall, it is one lovely stroll. The flavors were well incorporated into these tiny spheres of sweet goodness.The flavors weren't overwhelming, in fact they added just the right amount of exoticness to these limited edition chocolates.

Wherever I go.

2011-03-13T17:55:00.000+08:00

I genuinely feel like slitting my wrists right now. I am also on the verge of pulling out every single strand of hair on my head. I have never been pushed this much. I feel like I am about to break already. Everything's too much and I feel like I'm holding on to dear life on a fragile hope. I am losing my optimism.

I can't believe that I have yet again endangered my life. Lord, why does Physics hates me?

I'm always screaming my lungs out.

2011-03-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

I feel so impaired. I don't know where in the world my mind went off to. I guess it went out on a little date with Time. Those cheaters. I can't believe how Time flew so fast taking my mind along with it. I feel like I have slept through the past two weeks. Everything seems so vague and blurry inside my head.

The responsibilities and requirements slipped through my fingers. I didn't even got the chance to clench my fist to hold on to them and face them head-on. Game face and all.

I am so scared right now. I can't believe I'm on the edge and I am about to break. Lord, help me.

We knew that we're destined to explode.

2011-03-04T00:10:00.001+08:00

My life is in complete and utter mayhem right now. Lately, I have been so upset with a lot of stuff that has been weaving through my life. In a spur of the moment idea on our way back home, I have decided to have a haircut. Again.

The whole entire time my hair was being cut, I slowly started to doze off to dreamland. I have entrusted my aunt who happens to be a "hairstylist" as her sideline, with my hair. She asked me what I'd want to do with my hair, I feel like I was half asleep on the chair at that time when she asked me. I ended up telling her, Anything you'd want to do to my hair is okay for me as long as I get a haircut.

I hate my hair right now. It's too.. short. You see, I have this teeny tiny gear inside my brain that suddenly starts whirring once something in my life upsets me. I have this constant urge to do something "drastic" to deviate from the reality of the situation. Escapism. FML. :)

Let me go back to sleep.

2011-02-26T08:40:00.000+08:00

And I sit here with another episode. I watch my life go in and out the drain. I feel like I'm living my life on the edge of everything. For every moment we're together, I watch myself being pushed to the edge. Days pass by and you manage to make my heart melt. I slowly slither even further to the edge of my life.

One day, you broke down the wall and let yourself inside my world. There's no more space left. One more little push and I'm done. It's over. You gave me that little push. It was one of the loveliest push I ever got in my entire life. I did not even fight against it. I allowed myself to fall. Falling, falling, falling.. deeper into the possibility of us. Hopelessly hoping.

So listen to your heart.

2011-02-21T21:30:00.001+08:00

My friends Frances and Mariel watched The Maine, We The King and Never Shout Never's 4-day concert last Friday and Saturday in Manila. I wasn't able to go with them because I have my Plant Morpho-Anatomy Exam. x____x Suxx, I know.

The day before the concert Mariel, Frances and I crammed in making a scrapbook for The Maine at Frances' place. We started late and so.. we barely finished it. Frances and Mariel had no choice but to finish the scrapbook in Manila since their flight is super duper early in the morning. I didn't really gave much thought in how in the world they're gonna give the scrapbook to the band. Frances and Mariel joked that their last resort would be to throw the scrapbook on the stage. HAHA

Last Friday night, Frances called me and told me that they gave the scrapbook to a person they met who helps sell the band merch who also speaks Visaya. Surprise, surprise! :) Mariel and Frances were bummed when they missed The Maine's soundcheck because they finished the scrapbook. For the entire weekend I had no news about the scrapbook.

Monday. Frances texted me to check Facebook ASAP. I had to wait after lunch to be able to use the internet because I still have classes.

Frances posted a link on my wall. I clicked it and it led me to.. WeAreTheMaine OH MY LORD. I feel like fainting right then and there. THE MAINE GOT OUR SCRAPBOOK. THEY EVEN TOOK A PIC OF IT AND POSTED IT UP ON THEIR OFFICIAL WEBSITE AND DEMMIT IT'S MY DRAWING! \m/

Mariel and Frances took a picture of this before they gave it out. <3

These comments made me laugh. The Maine hahaha You guyyzzz. :)) Well, I would want to apologize if Garett, Kennedy and Jared "look the same". hahaha I honestly wasn't confident with this. It was done in such a haste that the details weren't drawn well. Sorry. :)

Lord, You never ever fail to amaze me. Thank You! <3

This hurricane is chasing us all underground.

2011-02-19T16:34:00.001+08:00

February is almost over. Time surely has a way of fleeting in such a haste when we're so lost in our blissful worlds.

I had a haircut last Friday (not yesterday). I got so tired of wearing my hair long. Sorry for the uber-stressed out face.

I feel so sad for one of my fave Hollywood couple, Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. They have recently filed a divorce. :( Poor Baby Bronx. They were such a lovely couple.

I got my Go Ask Alice book back from Kiarra. Oh God I miss this book. :)

I love these super cute Pez Dispensers. I had a ton when I was a little kid. Imagine my delight when my aunt gave me and my siblings a couple of these babies.

And yes. I am so happy because finally I have replied to the email from the people at Ticketworld regarding our JBieb concert tix. :) May 10, 2011 I am coming for you.

My crazy friends Mariel and Frances called me last night and made me listen to a portion of The Maine's live performance in Manila. Jealous as hell. If not for our Plant Morpho-Anatomy Semifinals, I could have gone with them. Jeez. The Maine performed with two other bands, We The Kings and Never Shout Never. Brb, drowning in a sea of jealousy. :)

The doctors are dancing in.

2011-02-17T06:11:00.000+08:00

I remember vaguely a quote on genius and madness.

"On the thin line between genius and madness, we fear the things we can't understand."

Right now, I am simply terrified of Physics. I can NOT understand a damn thing. Who knew that Physics whom I love so much (okay, I'm bluffing.. but still!!) back in high school would be crazy difficult in college. Lord, please help me survive Physics. This is my last Physics subject. I don't want to fail this. :)

P.S. I honestly think that Physics is just MADNESS. Sorry. I couldn't resist. :>

Your memory will carry on.

2011-02-08T22:58:00.001+08:00

My friend pulled me aside to talk. He knew I wasn't okay. But I kept on faking a smile. I don't want to have to go through this. I hate to have to go through this. He wanted me to talk.. to let it all out. I looked at him straight in the eyes and wished that he could somehow see through my eyes.. "Please. Let's not do this. Not now, not here." I don't want anyone to see how defeated and jaded I was with life.

Never in a million years would I have thought that my first attempt in liberating the bitterness from my system would be through the eyes.. as tears. No words. No vindication. I knew deep down in the core of my heart I wanted to tell him all my heartaches but I don't know how. But that look on my friend's face was all I ever needed to remind myself that everything's going to be okay.. somebody cares and no guy will ever, eveeeer be worth the tears and wasted teenage years. I guess that's all you ever need from a friend when we're silenced by our frustrations and fears.

Are you listening?

2011-02-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

I am dreaming of sunny, warm days ahead. Hello Summer! I have also been super inspired by Madonna's book entitled "The English Roses". The illustrations are looovely. I wish I could draw like that. But my style is different. :( Anyways, I grabbed my drawing book and pen then started sketching the day away. :">

The cover page of the oh so lovely book.

I feel so cheerful and happy and colorful and.. and... :""""> I can't wait dor summeeeeeeeer!! <3

I know you know we got something.

2011-02-06T16:19:00.000+08:00

Lately, I have been stuck in a daze. You keep on sending me mixed signals and I can't help but have second thoughts. I get so cynical every single time and I'm tired of it. I have found nine reasons to let go, move on and forget about you but I also found ten reasons to stay, wait and hold on a little longer.

I keep on asking God for a sign. I receive tons of it. And so, I don't know what to do with them. They pile on top of one another, piercing a hole into each other. Ripping one part off at a time.

I'll be dreaming of better days ahead. But for now, I don't know what to do.

I'd pay to see you frown.

2011-02-06T15:15:00.000+08:00

The day before my birthday was totally unforgettable. In a good and bad way. I somehow managed to hit my face with the volleyball. Friggin axons and dendrites did not coordinate with me. It was hella embarrassing since it was tournament time already. Everybody saw that. tsk Oh well, I told myself to suck it up. Things happen.

I spent the rest of my afternoon with my girl friends and some of my guy friends who managed to give me a simple surprise. I was extremely touched. I swear to God. I didn't expect anything to be given to me on that particular day.

I had to carry this while I rode the jeep along with a million other stuff. :P

I honestly was DYING to open these the time I got home, but they told me to open it on my birthday. UGH

I was glad that I opened it on the day of my birthday, it made things even more special. :) Thank you my loves. :>

Belated Happy Nineteenth Birthday to me. :>

When I read the palancas, I can't help but smile and cry a little. Just a little. :P I am loooved. You see, I am not having a great start for my 2011. Reading how much I am appreciated and loved makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I am such a sentimental person. I swear to God. Everything means so much to me, it doesn't matter if it's a simple thing. I always think, "It's the thought that counts.".

My birthday turned out to be a simple celebration. We had a little get together with my relatives come dinner time, my mom and I went to church then we bought some cake and ice cream for dessert. Lovely. :>

My last days are looming overhead.

2011-02-02T22:50:00.001+08:00

Teenage love is one of the most enchanting things in the world. But at some point it could also hurt like hell. It's like falling off a building, you don't know what you have gotten yourself into but there isn't anything you could do once you are in the air. All you could ever do is watch yourself fall. You watch as your whole world pass you by.

Once you hit the ground, shock and hurt strikes you without any warning. You crush your bones. You lose your sanity. You break your heart. You try to breathe through all of the chaos but every breath you take hurts. No one was there to catch you and cushion the fall.

Hold back your thoughts.

2011-01-31T23:45:00.001+08:00

The super delayed challenge for Day 10. Ten Secrets. :) I'm having a hard time what secrets to spill for the entire world (if anybody would bother to read this blog of mine) to know.

I am secretly a very, very corny, mushy, cheesy, hopeless romantic. I just don't like to show it.
I sometimes think I am bipolar or having a mental and emotional breakdown. Craaaazy.
I am such a people pleaser. I thrive on people's praise. :> Sue me!!
When good people make a joke and it's kinda, sorta corny.. I fake a laugh and smile for them. I feel sorry and guilty if I don't show them some love. It's all about the effort, people.
Sometimes, when I lose interest in something or someone.. I'd suddenly leave.
I always try to see the good side of each person. It wouldn't matter if I loathe them. A lot.
I hate it when the food on my plate touch each other. OC senses are tingling. :)
I can be really, really shallow. Sometimes.
I try so hard to flip my life to three hundred and sixty degrees of perfection. :P Seriously, I am trying to fix my life and be a better person but I am struggling so much in doing so.
I hate it when I need to explain myself to other people. I hate confrontations and laying my feelings and the cards down. I just get so tongue tied. I don't even know how to begin explaining everything.

Give me a sign, I wanna believe.

2011-01-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

My new running shoes fit perfectly. I slowly started to tie the laces. Loop, twist and pull. I then tightened my ponytail and started to jog, breathing in the cold morning air. I love the feeling I get when I run. It's as if I'm literally running away from everything. Everything I have grown to know.

I hastened my pace. At that moment I knew that nothing can ever catch up with me. I was happy. I keep on pushing people away, running away from them. Suddenly, I tripped on my feet. I fell flat on my face. I don't want to stand up. I want to give up on everything. I feel like I'm going nowhere. But You Sir, always manage to change my mind. Lord, why? :)

She takes me high.

2011-01-24T03:44:00.000+08:00

I was walking home alone one gloomy afternoon. My mind suddenly started to fly off far from my sanity. I allowed it to go away for a while. I think it deserves a little time off. I continued walking alone. Everything seemed fine, perfect.. normal.

I was surprised when suddenly something fell on top of my head. Raindrop. I looked up at the sky, another drop fell on my left cheek. I ignored it and continued to walk home, I have no umbrella with me so there's nothing I could do but hurry. Another drop fell on my right shoulder, then another one.. and another one.. and another one.. raindrops started falling everywhere.

Then it rained on me.. I suddenly started to miss everyone.. and everything that used to be. It didn't help when I remembered what a certain friend wrote on her blog. :( I want things to be like that again but I know it just can't be done. I miss my friends.

Tell me why.

2011-01-21T07:24:00.001+08:00

So. I think I kinda, slighly, went cuckoo yesterday. Damn. I freaked out a few hours before the exam. When I took the exam, it wasn't that bad. I was able to answer majority of the questions (praise the Lord) so now.. if only I pass that exam. Amidst the happiness I felt after I took the exam, I suddenly realized I wrote "True" instead of "T" for the Modified True or False part of the exam. Bullshark. deaddeaddeaddeaddeaddead. LORD HELP. I don't wanna lose 14points for not following the instructions. Brb, my heart is shattered into a bajillion pieces.

mhmmm.. I am such a friggin poser. haha Healthy Living my ass!! =)) This tasted like sweetened seaweed of some sort. Good stuff. :)

HNGG. I do hope I will pass majority (if it's too impossible to pass all) of my subjects. GAAAHD. I'm sure I'm gonna fail my Philo and Histo.. and maybe Bio midterm exams. x________x

I think I'm going crazy.

2011-01-20T07:15:00.000+08:00

I think this is the death of me. NOOOO! I am so dead. But.. but.. I want to pass my Biochem Midterm exam.. :(((( Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt. I feel like I am so screwed. Exam will be later at 4pm. God bless to me. Okay, I'll leave now. But wait.. I am freaking out and I need to take the pressure off my chest. LORD HELP. One of my blockmates replied to our Biochem Teacher's post, "Is it too late to drop this class?" Good call. :) hahaha But I know I can't escape the evil wraths of Biochemistry :( It's a damn prerequisite subject for my other majors in Bio. I am so frustrated right now. *u*

Types of exam: multiple choice = 30pts, modified true or false = 20pts, answer as directed (short essay, illustration, chem reactions/equations) = 30pts

Study the following:
topics from prelims
saturated & unsaturated fatty acids (fa): properties, examples, chemical formula, short hand expression/abbreviation
reactions: esterification, saponification
formation of glyceride lipids, phospholipids
prostaglandins, aspirin, arachidonic acid
waxes: examples, names and formulas
nonglyceride lipids, steroids, hormones
complex lipids, miscellaneous lipids (fat-soluble vitamins)
transport mechanisms, diffusion, osmosis, active transport, flip-flop, etc.

That's how you make me.

2011-01-19T08:52:00.000+08:00

Hello, hello! I know that I have not yet done the challenge for Day 10 (Ten Secrets). I am still thinking of what secrets to write about. On a very dark note, I still have 7 more exams to take. If you think that after this motherfriggin hell week I'll be free, you're absolutely wrong. My hell week has been extended up until next week. *cue fireworks*

I have no exams today and I am supposed to study for my Biochem exam for tomorrow but instead here I am.. blogging my life away. A little while back I was watching Skins UK Season 2. =)) But I swear, after I finish this entry, I'll go study.

Let me blab about a few stuff before I get my ass moving..

I am insanely in love with Mitch Hewer who plays Maxxie Oliver on Skins UK.. I don't really care if he's gay.. in the series Skins I know he plays a gay guy but in real life, I'm not sure. But whatever, he's hot, man! Plus he's a triple threat! He can act, sing and dance. Niiiiice! Gay or not, that doesn't make me love him any less.

Anyway, I am also very happy because I have bought the concert tix for JBieb's concert this summer. I sooo can't wait!! I do hope this would serve as an inspiration for me to do good in school and not fail any of my classes or else I am so screwed. =))))) I'll be keeping my hopes up high that I will so pass this sem!

Keep your hopes up high.

2011-01-17T23:09:00.001+08:00

I keep on asking myself, Why do I even care? It's really sad actually because I just couldn't answer that question every single time it's thrown my way. I keep on lurking.. I keep on hoping that something might actually happen. Chance favors the prepared mind. What does that even mean?! To hell with regrets. I wasn't prepared for any of this. I did not see the silky spider's web blocking my way as I run through the labyrinth. I feel like I have been going through the same path over and over again. No progress. No change. Stagnant.

I drop to the ground. I closed my eyes and started to cry in defeat. If ever I drown in my tears, please don't pull me out.

Will you even look back?

2011-01-17T08:10:00.001+08:00

Day 9. Nine loves.

1. I love my family sooo much. I would not exist if it weren't for them. Like, DUH. :)
2. I love my friends. They keep me sane and grounded to earth. <3 I miss you my loves.
3. I love God. :) He never fails to amaze me.. ALWAYS.
4. I love food! My world revolves around food. haha
5. I love reading. I have a ton of books, magazines, comics and mangas inside my bedroom. I need MORE space for future purchases. :)
6. I love rock bands and boy bands. :) Especially, bands with super hottt members. <3 hahaha
7. I love sports. I used (sob, sob) to play Track.. :((( I wanna play again. I also wanna learn how to play Sepak Takraw and Soccer. Summer? :) ohh, on a related note, I love hottt athletes too! :P Cristiano Ronaldo! :))
8. I love myself. hahaha Narcissist much? :P There might be times I'd wish to be somebody else when insecurity comes knocking in but.. whatever. :)
9. I love life. Though there might be instances it wouldn't love me back, I'll just give it a little cuddle and we're okay.

My, my look how we roll.

2011-01-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

Day 8. Eight fears.

1. I am terrified of crossing the street. o_____O
2. I am scared of failing and not living up to people's expectations. Ahhh.. the people pleaser in me.
3. I am scared of frogs. I know, I know.. I'm a Biology student and I have studied them for half a semester already.. but let's face it, frogs are so NOT cute and will never be.
4. I am terrified of Death. I'm sorry. I'm not yet ready to let you in my life.
5. I am scared of the unknown and uncertainty.
6. I am scared of the deep blue ocean. I don't know how to swim.
7. I am scared of taking risks. I need to change this attitude of mine.
8. I am terrified of the dark.